Coaching Isn't Just About Winning Games - The Matheny Manifesto

Coaching isn't just about winning games, it's about building better human beings.

I'm in the middle of reading a book by Mike Matheny.

If you're like me, you have no idea who Mike Matheny is, so let me give you some background.

Mike Matheny is a former professional baseball catcher. He made his debut in the major leagues in April of 1994 with the Brewers. In 1999 he signed with the St. Louis Cardinals. During his time with with the Cardinals he helped St. Louis reach the postseason in four of his five years with the team and they claimed the National League pennant in 2004.

He was considered one the greatest defensive players in the Major Leagues and was given the nickname "The Toughest Man Alive", after taking a 96 mph fast ball in the face and playing the very next day! His career ended after a series of concussions that would not allow him to return.

You can read more about Mike on his website HERE.

Mike was asked to coach a youth baseball team and wrote a series of conditions he demanded before agreeing to be with the team. This letter spread virally across the country and became knows as the "Matheny Manifesto" and the book has inspired me to write about my own experiences, thoughts and theories on Coaching.

My Son when he played for
Coach Figueroa

My first experience in youth sports (other than when I was playing) was when my son was 7 years old and he asked to play Baseball. He had never played Baseball, had never even caught a ball that I knew of. I remember his first day of practice. I had bought him a new glove and tried to play catch with him but even at that age he didn't want to play with a girl and he didn't think that I knew what I was doing.

He headed out to the field and I stepped up to speak to his Coach. I explained to Coach Figueroa that my son had never played and to go easy on him and he said he would. He asked my son to stand by home base and then he threw a soft lob at him. I still laugh at this because I had told him how to hold the glove but he had to do his own thing and learn the hard way. The ball bounced out of his glove and hit him right in the side of his face! He was mortified! Coach came over, told him not to worry about it and then showed him how to hold his glove (the same exact way that I had shown him!)

Coach Figueroa was an excellent coach. He never yelled at the boys and even though he was coaching his own two sons on the same team I never felt that he showed favoritism to them. My son gained a lot of experience and self-esteem and a love of the sport.

That was the only good coaching experience I ever had. My son continued on playing Basketball and Baseball for several coaches, but he never had one like Coach Figueroa.

I hate to complain because these men donated their time to coach, they didn't do it for money. Whether they did it for love of the game or love of their sons, they were still donating their own time. But so many of them perhaps should have found something better to donate their time too. I experienced coaches that only cared about winning so they never let all the boys play, even when we were 10, 20 points ahead of the other team. I experienced coaches that yelled at the boys when mistakes were made. The worst thing that I experienced was a couple of coaches that were only doing it so they could have their son and the sons of their buddies shine. It wasn't about the team, it was about grown men wanting to relive their accomplishments through their sons, at the expense of the team and the other boys.

Another thing I recall is all the dad's on the sidelines yelling at their sons for mistakes or for not paying attention. After one game my son and I walked back to the car and got in and we sat there for a bit and watched a game that was going on and you could hear a dad ridiculing and riding his son and my son turned to me and said, "Mom, sometimes I'm glad I don't have a dad. All the dads I know yell at their kids during the game, but you never do." My heart broke for those other boys and for my son who didn't have a dad.

In reading the Matheny Manifesto I realize that this should be a mandatory book for all coaches to read before they decide to start coaching. It's not a bad thing to read as a young parents or even as an employee, there are many lessons to be learned in this book. One thing that resonated with me was an excerpt where Mike is retelling a story of meeting some Navy SEALS. He asked one SEAL who was both a leader and an instructor what five characteristics he commonly saw in those SEALS who made it through the process. He listed these five:

1. Physical toughness ("The easiest quality to find," he said.)
2. Mental toughness
3. Moral toughness (He described this as "Doing the right thing all the time, even when nobody's looking.")
4. Team orientation ("A belief that the needs of the team are greater than your own.")
5. Humility

How many of us can use those five characteristics in how we live our every day lives? Especially number 3!

My son a few years later with more confidence
in himself and more training in how to hold a
bat! Batters glove and everything!

I'll end this post with a funny story that I recall with fondness when my son was playing Baseball. This was a few years later when he had more experience under his belt. I would sit in the stands with the other parents, usually my mom and dad would join me, sometimes my sister and my brother and his family. I would hear the other parents say encouraging things to their son when they were up at bat and got hit by the ball. The most common sayings were "shake it off" and "take one of the team".

So it was my son's turn to bat and the pitcher hit him with the ball and I could tell it hurt him so I yelled out to him, "that's ok son, shake it off...take one for the team!"

He stepped out of the batters box, turned to me and said, "you take one for the team mom, that hurt!"

All the people in the stands laughed at that, my dad laughing the hardest and now it was my turn to be mortified. All those parents yelling that same thing at their sons but only my son had the nerve to turn around and talk back! He was and is a character!

This post was inspired by The Matheny Manifesto by Mike Matheny. St. Louis Cardinals manager Matheny shares his tough-love philosophy for children's team sports that translate to everyday life. Join From Left to Write on February 12th as we discuss The Matheny Manifesto. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

I Am My Mother and Proud of it!

I've seen the quote above posted on facebook several time by different women and I realize it's true and I'm proud of it. My mom has the wisdom of the ages and if I can be like her in any small way it's ok with me!

It's funny how much we become what our mothers are/were. I was reading a blog post from Arlee at Wrote by Rote, he's doing a great A thru Z Challenge using Music. His letter today was "V" and he chose the song Volare by Dean Martin. I'm listening to the youtube video he posted while I write this and I remember Dean from his movies with Jerry Lewis...what a voice!

Arlee tells of his mother's love of music and how he remembers her stacking a pile of albums on their hi-fi and doing her housework to the sound of music. What a wonderful memory for him. He then asks:

What songs do you associate most with your childhood? Did you have a stay-at-home mom and did she listen to music in the daytime? How old were you when you first began to appreciate music?

My comment to his post has actually turn into a post. I find that happens ALOT and that is why I love reading other bloggers, because they inspire me.

I commented, "Your mom loved music and played it often. My mom wasn't a big fan of music. I rarely remember it being played in our home so I never became a fan of music and even now only listen to it on the radio in the car. I don't have an iPod, I don't download music, I don't buy CD's. But mom loved books and I grew up with a love of reading. Mom loved games so I have every game imaginable. Mom loved puzzles, so I in turn love puzzles, even though now I do them online."

To this day I read all the time. Everyone in my family is a great fan of reading in the bathroom and believe it or not there have been times I've been in other people's bathrooms where there is no reading material and I've read the back of cans of Comet and Ajax, shampoo bottles, Mr Clean and Formula 409! I know my brothers and sister would probably 'fess up to the same thing! Mom taught us that! Well not reading Ajax bottles, but she gave us our love of reading.

Mom loved games, we played Yahtzee, Scrabble, Monopoly, Cards, Pick Up Sticks, Jenga, Cootie, Sorry and so many more! Mom always won, always! Now we look back and think maybe she was a bit of a cheater? We can't prove it, but we still suspect it. Dad would sleep in his recliner and every once in a while when we got too loud and woke him up he would look at us like we were nuts and go right back to sleep, knowing his little family was safe and sound and having fun!

Two things were always on our dining room table growing up. One one side was my mom's sewing machine. She was and is a Master Seamstress! She would make matching dresses for me, my sister and one for her! She would make doll clothes. She even sewed the Cheerleader Outfits for me and my fellow Cheerleaders in high school one year. We looked like dolls in our very unique Blue and Gold Cheerleader outfits!

The thing on the other side of the dining room table growing up was a big piece of plywood with a jigsaw puzzle on it. Mom always had a puzzle going. She would buy most of them at yard sales. We loved to spend quiet time in the evening just sitting there eating a little snack and working on the puzzle with mom. My favorite time was when we would start a new puzzle and she would divide up the pieces in the top and bottom of the box and then give one to me to pick out the edge pieces as we always built the frame first, then divided up the remaining pieces by color.

I shocked a friend recently when I told him that I wasn't a big fan of music and that growing up we never listened to music. He was stunned and said, "I can't imagine a house with no music. Music is the life of a house!" I told him, "Well I can't imagine a house without books, that was what brought life and other worlds and culture and opened up the world to us!" And that is what my mother taught me.

What's your favorite memory as a child with your mother? or your Father? Was music a big part of your world growing up? Or were you more bookish like me? I'd love to know!


      

A Birthday, A Recipe and Family for Biscocho Day!

This was a super busy weekend for being the last shopping weekend before Christmas. We also saw record rainfall here in Kern County. We broke the record last set in 1931!! Unbelievable! Unfortunately we aren't prepared for that much rain and right now we have a lot of flooding and fear of the Lake Isabella Dam bursting...so everyone is really very concerned. We hope the rain ceases soon even though the weather reporters predict it will last through Wednesday.

On Saturday my cousin David's family threw him a surprise birthday party. He was really surprised and we all had a really great time. We cousins all grew up together and it's not often we all get together, so it was so special to be able to see each other again.

Here's a picture of Cousin David and his family. David is the one with the ball cap on. His brother Steve is to the left of David, his sister Elpedia is beside him in yellow. His mom, Casi (my mom's sister) is in the long blue trench coat, then his other sister Mary Helen. Behind Mary Helen his brother Art (the oldest) and then the baby of the family, Hector. Isn't it wonderful that all his brothers and sisters were there to help him celebrate? I love you all so much!

The next day was my own dear mom's birthday. We had already planned to make Biscochos that day. Biscochos are a small, crispy cookie that we all grew up with. Our Tia Nico, my mom's sister would spend days and days before all holiday's making these cookies. She would then store them in empty coffee cans and no one left with empty hands, each family took home a coffee can filled with these delicious cookies. These probably aren't as wonderful as hers or maybe the memories of childhood can never match the present, but these are biscochos.

That's 20 cups of flour and 4 cups of sugar and 6 cups of shortening and 6 eggs plus lots of other spices and cooking ingredients. I'll share the recipe with everyone in a separate post tomorrow.

Since it was my mom's birthday we had a full house to help with the making of the Biscochos, so I'd like to share some pictures.

My job was to cream the shortening and the sugar. Last year my poor sister Lisa and I did it by hand. I forgot I had this beautiful pink Kitchen-Aid Mixer in the closet because my generous daughter April had given it to me for Mothers Day and I had never unpacked it! This mixer is the greatest! I just stood there watching everyone else work while the mixer did it all for me.

The harder job went to my sister Lisa and her youngest son Isaac (my Godson). Their job was to sift the dry ingredients and then blend the dry and wet ingredients by hand.

Here they are sifting. Isaac refused to wear an Apron! I think next year I'm going to get him a Bobby Flay manly apron!

Here Lisa and Isaac are blending dry and wet ingredients. My brother Fred is in the background, he was admiring my Kitchen-Aid Mixer.

Here Isaac is doing what we in spanish call "Amasando" (in English kneading). With 20 pounds of flour this is very labor intensive!

Isaac did a really good job, and before you knew it, it was time to start rolling out the dough! Everyone got a chance to come and roll out some dough and cut some cookies with a giant pizza cutter. They then placed them on the cookie sheets and my sister Lisa was in charge of baking them in the oven until they were that perfect golden brown. (A few batches were that perfect golden burnt color, but several members of our family love the burned ones, go figure!)

First up...Isaac under the watchful eyes of his Nana (grandmother).

 Then he and his mom made some together. See the little rolling pin? I scoffed at it when I saw it because it was such a tiny little one while the other one in the picture is mine. It turned out that everyone preferred the little one which belongs to my sister Lisa. Kudo's to you Sis!

 I didn't want to be left out, so of course I had to come and get in on the act. Don't we look like real cooks with Aprons and everything? Mine was a gift from my sister-in-law Connie and I love it! The one my sister is wearing was sewn by my mom, many, many years ago. She gave one to each of us girls for Christmas one year. The boys I believe received hand-made bathrobes that year.

Here I am again...I'm a Biscocho making machine!

 And since it's my blog...I'll post just one more picture of me :-D  As you can tell, I was pretty happy. This was a great day!

And here's my brother Fred again, popping in to check on how things are progressing. Don't worry Fred, the first batch will be ready soon!

Next up to make a batch of biscochos? Looks like it's my other brother Jaime and his daughters. The baby, Clarissa and the oldest Sarena.

Here's Jaime showing Clarissa and Lisa his technique. Jaime and his kids actually cook together quite a bit. Last year he and Clarissa made homemade scented soaps for everyone as Christmas presents. They were heavenly!

My sister Lisa and her nieces Clarissa and Sarena. I think Sarena's already sampling the first batch...she looks happy so they must be good!

Next up...my baby girl April had to make her batch too. Now April, that's a rolling pin...not a baton!

Ok, now she's down to business! Now she's got the hang of that rolling pin. She's a natural!

Biscocho making wasn't the only thing going on. We had lots of other activities happening. People would just float from one to the other.

We had some game playing going on in the living room, on the coffee table, under the Christmas Tree. That precious puppy Chorizo loved all the attention she was getting from everyone! I don't know who was winning this game of Sorry but here's Clarissa, April, my sister-in-law Connie (the gifter of the apron mentioned earlier) and my nephew, Clarissa's brother Gabriel.

The birthday girl, my mom also had some gifts to open! Here she is with my brother Jaime and Clarissa.

So what did you get mom? Let us see. Ohhhhh, how pretty, an Angel! Good job in picking this one out Jaime, Connie, Sarena, Gabriel and Clarissa!

There was also some visiting with Cousin David who had to come by to wish his Tia Tome (his Aunt Tome, my mom) Happy Birthday! Thanks for coming David! (His mom, pictured in the first picture on this post in the blue trench coat is my mom's sister.)

We also did a lot of picture taking so we could have the memory of this day forever! Here's my mom and her son's; my very handsome brothers, Fred and Jaime. Love you Bros!

My mom and her beautiful daughters :-D   My sister Lisa.and me!

My mom with her daughters and her sons.

My mom with some of her grandchildren. Missing were my brother Fred's children who came over later and my son who was AWOL for the day and my sister's son Sean who came over later and will be in a picture a little later in the post. Pictured from left to right, Gabriel, Isaac, April, Sarena, Clarissa and their Nana!

They insisted on taking a silly picture as well. . .they are kids after all :-D

My sister Lisa had purchased some miniature chocolate bottles filled with various liqueurs. I had one with Orange flavored Russian Vodka. Oh my gosh these are so good, but so rich you can only eat/drink one so no danger of getting drunk on these! If you compare the bottle to the little crystal twinkle light you can see how really miniature they are.

Here's Jaime and April both enjoying a chocolate liqueur. Don't worry, even though he's my baby brother and she's my baby girl, they're both way over 21!

My sister's son Sean was working but came by during his lunch hour to wish his Nana a Happy Birthday.

We ended the day by singing Happy Birthday to my mom and taking a group picture with her. We had to do this one is two shots. I'm in this one sitting in the chair.

And my sister Lisa is in this one sitting in the chair. I really need a tripod! Santa...if you're listening?

I can't imagine Christmas Day topping this day. What? Oh yeah, well yeah...true, there will be presents. But c'mon...this was the bestest day ever! Thank you all for making it so special!

Thank you Ale, Bebe, Little Fred and Adrianna for coming by later and spending time with Nana and for bringing that precious little Melissa to give her Nana a birthday hug before the day was over. I love you all so much!

Match-making

One day last week I was visiting one of my favorite blogs, A Cup of Jo, and she had done a post on Date my Single Kid. You can read about it here. Apparently the mother of a friend of Joanna's is always trying to set her son up with single women and she's launched a new website called Date My Single Kid.

Reading that reminded me of when I first met my husband (who is now my ex-husband and has been for the past 17 years, but it's still a cute story) back in 1977 or 1978, I forget exactly what year. I was attending Bakersfield College and there was a super funny, intelligent, older woman in one of my classes and we became friends and would often have coffee together.

This woman would tell me all the time that she had a son my age that she really wanted me to meet. I told her I had just started dating someone so sorry...I wasn't interested. This continued for quite a few months until one night when the guy I was dating told me he had forgotten something at home and would I mind if we stopped by to pick it up and by the way his mother would be there; would I like meet her? I said that was fine even though I was terrified to meet "the mother".

We walked in and he introduced me to his mom, Marge and Marge yells, "Alicia! It's you." I didn't recognize this woman at all and didn't have a clue as to how she would know who I was. She realized I didn't know who she was so she says, "Wait a minute" and runs out the living room into her bedroom. A few minutes later she returns and I recognize her and I yell, "Marge!" She laughs and says, "I knew you didn't recognize me without my wig!"

Marge was the dear older lady that had become my friend at school and the son she wanted so badly to introduce me to was the man I was already dating! How's that for kismet?

My Children's Memories of Me When I'm Gone

On my lunch hour I went to New York. Really! I did! I went to go visit my bloggy friend Kathryn at From the Inside...Out. Kathryn is an amazing blogger! She's the kind of blogger I want to be when I grow up. She's witty, imaginative, friendly and she smells like someone threw up an entire basket of fruit! Don't believe me? Go and read her post today entitled Lather.Rinse.Repeat.

Wait, wait...don't go now! I mean go AFTER you read my post. Whew, almost lost you there. Ok...so Kathryn's post is about the scents that remind her of her mother and she wonders what scents will remind her children of her. That made me stop to wonder about what scents my children will smell someday when I'm no longer here that will remind them of me.

That made me remember a conversation one day a long, long time ago when my daughter April was only about 6 or 7 years old and she asked me how come our home didn't smell like Nana's house (my mom). I asked her what do you mean, what does Nana's house smell like? She said, "Nana's house smells good, like food." So I asked her, "Well...what does our house smell like?" She said, "Our house doesn't smell good, it smells like Clorox and Pine-Sol!"

See, I have a very sensitive nose, just like Kathryn. And it is both a blessing and a curse. One thing that I can't stand is the smell of food in the house. I mean I love it when I'm hungry, or when I'm cooking; nothing is better than the smell of my home cooked Meat Loaf Pie! But once I've eaten or when I'm not hungry, I hate the lingering smell of food.

My mom taught me a long, long, long time ago to always add a couple of tablespoons of Clorox to the dish water to disinfect & also make your dishes, counters and hands smell clean and Cloroxey! So while April was still basking in the lingering scent of meat loaf or burgers or taco's or peach pie; her mom was busy in the kitchen washing everything with Clorox to get rid of that smell that she loved.

And then to make matters worse, after washing the dishes I would take a paper towel and put a bit of Pine-Sol on it and walk through the house rubbing everything that didn't move with that paper towel to freshen up the rest of the house!

I can think of worse scents for my kids to remember me by, Clorox and Pine-Sol aren't that bad. My mom is still with me but I can't smell Noxzema or Jergens Lotion or beans cooking on the stove without remembering my mom. What smells remind you of your mom, your childhood, happy times?

Memory of my high schools days

Today my son Jim was telling me about a car that he saw recently that he fell in love with. It's an older model car, what I would consider a muscle car.


That got me to thinking about my first car and I wanted to show him what it looked like. I'm sure I have a picture of that car, but it's probably in a box somewhere in the garage and I wasn't about to go out there and look for it on Super Bowl Sunday. But since I have the world at my fingertips, I just did a google search for a 1975 Oldsmobile Omega SX and I was lucky that not only was there a picture of the car but it's the exact same color mine was.

Of course my car was shiny and brand new. I think it had 64 miles on it when I got it.

I got it my Junior year in high school. I had only had my license for a short while and my parents decided to buy me a new car. I believed then and I still believe now that they bought me the new car to prevent me from going away to college. At that time I was making plans with my best friend Patricia to go to either San Diego State or the University of Redlands. 



Patty's dad had bought a small single wide mobile home that he was going to park in a trailer park close to the college and he wanted me to live with Patty, rent free, while we both went to school together. My parents were not thrilled with the idea, especially my dad.


My dad asked me if I wanted to go away to college, or did I want to go to a local junior college and get a new car during my Senior year. Hmmmm, tough choice for a 17 year old right? What would you choose? I obviously chose the car!


So my parents went shopping for a car for me one Saturday while I was working at a part time job I had at a store called Farmers Market. One side of the market was a market, with a full service deli. The other side of the market was like a mini Walmart, you could find anything and everything there from fabric to furniture. I worked on the Walmartish side every Saturday and Sunday.


Since I couldn't go with them, they brought cars to me. Then, as now, a car to me was simply a means to get from here to there. I didn't know much about cars, I didn't really mind what kind of car I had, I just want to get to where I was going and I wanted it to be reliable. 

The first car my parents brought to me was a brand new Ford Mustang. It was jet black with black interior. Practical me didn't even take into account that it was a MUSTANG! And a black one at that. My only thought was that during the summer it would be H.O.T. and it would take forever to cool it down. So I said no.


The next car my parents brought to me was...get this...a 1975 Lime Green Corvette. I couldn't find a picture but it was this exact same color green.

And the seats matched, they were a lime green plaid something like this.

Now, just so you understand my ignorance when it came to cars...I didn't know or realize what a Corvette was. I mean I do now, but not then. Then it was just an ugly green car! And I love green; it is my favorite color, but that was such a hideous green and the plaid "ugh" it made me shiver. So I again said no, I don't want this one either. 


So they left again and came back with the blue and white Omega SX and now after all these years I'm going to disclose that what I loved best about the car was the SX, because to me that meant Sexy, my car was sexy and if my car was sexy then obviously I was sexy. Silly I know but that's how my 17 year old mind worked then. 


And I loved that car. That car and I went through alot together. When I first got it I washed it every day after school. And I used to give my brother Fred and my sister Lisa a ride to school in it every day and every time that the car hit another 100 miles I would pull over and we would all cheer and clap and act like lunatics. I had the greatest siblings that were silly and crazy with me.

Everyone should always remember their first car. I've had many, many cars since then but never one that I washed every single day or one that I cheered and clapped for every 100 miles.  That was my Sexy car and I loved it. 


So what was your first car and what do you remember best about it? Or what was your favorite car you've every owned or what is your dream car that you hope someday to own? Do tell :-)

All Aboard! Our first time ever on the Amtrak!

Last weekend my mom and I went on a road trip...and I didn't have to drive! I was so excited because I always drive. We took off to visit my daughter April who lives about three hours North of Shafter. She generously bought her grandmother and me tickets to ride the train! It has always been a wish of my mom to ride on the Amtrak and she didn't think she ever would. It's like one of those "bucket list" wishes. Something you want to do before you kick the bucket.

We left Saturday morning at around 8:30 from the Wasco Amtrak station.

Here I am happy and relaxed to be going somewhere I didn't have to drive to.



And here's my mom. You can so tell how excited she is!


It was so much fun. There wasn't a lot to see as the train doesn't take the same route Highway 99 takes, it's kind of on the outskirts so you just see farmland, but it was still nice. I was surprised by how many people ride the Amtrak. We went from Wasco, CA to Modesto, CA. The train stopped in Corcoran, Hanford, Fresno, Denair/Turlock, Merced then Modesto. I think I got the order right.

Fresno station was by far the most interesting. Before we got there we passed by a few little encampments of what I believe were homeless people. They were living under several different bridges and they had tent cities set up. Outside of almost each tent was a couch or some arm chairs and people all sitting around drinking morning coffee. It was surprising for me to see that. We usually see homeless people walking around in Bakersfield with their shopping carts and their other worldly possessions, but I guess I just never stopped to wonder where they go when the sun goes down. I wonder if there are tent cities in Bakersfield that I'm not even aware of. It makes you think, doesn't it? I tried to get a glimpse of them on the way back but I had forgotten exactly where they were.

We arrived safe and sound at the Modesto station where my daughter was waiting to pick us up. Ok...maybe not waiting because she was late :-) but eventually she got there and she took us to breakfast.

One thing to remember when you ride the train...take some snacks. My mom and I didn't on the way up and we got hungry. They do have a food car, but I'm sure you can imagine it was expensive. My mom did purchase some chips and soda's, but on the way back we were well stocked! We had a great time and I'll be sharing some of the things we did in later posts, but I just wanted to share this story of my mom's first time on the Amtrak...I'm glad I was there to share it with her.

Cousins ~ Different beautiful flowers from the same garden

"A cousin is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost."

Author: Marion C. Garretty

I received a lovely little surprise in the mail today from my cousin Stella, and I wanted to share it with you.

Stella took a road trip this summer for about a month. She first started this annual tradition with her husband Ron who sadly passed away a few years ago. She and Ron had great adventures, stopping at different little antique shops and always on the lookout for Carl's Jrs or Hardees for Stella's huge addiction to Dr. Pepper or Coke. Not sure which and whether it was regular or diet, but I know it was the caffeine!

This year Stella found this cute little sign that is perfect for my wine/grape themed kitchen. Don't you love it?

I found a nice little spot for it already right next to my kitchen hutch. Right now I have a garland of daisies but I've been looking for a garland of grapes and grapes leaves. Most of the ones I find are too sparse and unnatural looking...but this is not Iwanna Wednesday, so let me get on with the thanking of my wonderful cousin Stella!

Thank you so much Stella! I love it and it gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling to know that you thought of me on your trip! We don't always tell people what we think about them until we eulogize them at their funeral and whats the point then right?

I want you to know that you are the first person that ever put makeup on me when you lived in that house in Poston on the ranch. I felt so grown up when you put eyeshadow and mascara on me and I think that is where my love of makeup first began.

You also took me to my first high school basket ball game where I got to see Oscar Soliz play and I have to admit I had a huge crush on him during my whole high school years.

You also are the reason for my love of country music. I can remember you driving back from that game and singing country music and that song Proud Mary. I can't ever hear Proud Mary and not think of you.

I know that most of the time we go through our lives never realizing how our lives touched others. You touched my life and my heart; my beautiful cousin and I love you dearly.