Thursday, July 25, 2013

Do not go gentle into that good night - Dylan Thomas

Hope springs eternal doesn't it? Dad is still with us, although growing weaker each day. He has not eaten since Sunday, but he ate well then. My mom fed him, she came to see him at the hospital and he welcomed her with open arms. It was beautiful and heart breaking. She has been by his side since and I know that for me it's been healing. Something good did come out of dad's illness.

It's just a matter of time, I know that...but we all still keep looking at anything as a sign of hope, even though in reading all the literature provided by Hospice I know that he's following the natural path towards leaving this world.

 But as I've said before, he's a fighter. He will not go gentle into that good night.

 Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

 Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
 Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light


Saturday, July 13, 2013

A Smile on an Old Piano

My sister Lisa is an old softy. She is very sensitive to peoples feelings, and not just peoples feelings, she is sensitive to the feelings of inanimate objects. 

Many times when we've been shopping together she's pointed out a pair of shoes or a blouse or purse and I'd tell her, "Eww, that's ugly!"  She gets mad at me and tell me not to say that for fear of hurting the feelings of the shoes, blouse or purse!

I laugh at her and tell her she's nuts. She's at the point now that she won't show me anything for fear I'll hurt it's feelings.

But I watched this video and tell me if you don't see what I see in the video. I see the piano smiling with joy at being able to produce beautiful music again. And the joy in Rick, the musician is equally noticeable. This made me smile too, hope it makes you smile.


Thursday, July 4, 2013

I Want You to Know Who He Was

Right now I'm sitting in my fathers room in the surgical ICU after surgery on him to drain blood from both sides of his brain. He's on life support and needs so much medical care and attention.

I watch these brave young people that are caring for my dad and I want to tell them who he was. I want to tell them that this is not just a sick old man that they are cleaning and checking vitals on. 

That this man was King of the Row Crop! A man that could grow any vegetable or fruit on earth just by the sheer power of his will and his intuitive knowledge of the earth and plants. I want to tell them ...I want to tell them, do you know who he was?

There is a quote from the movie with Richard Gere called Shall we Dance where the wife says, "We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'." 

 I am a witness to your life dad. I know who you were. I know who you are. I know what you mean to me and to my siblings and to your grandchildren. Your life will not and did not go unnoticed. Get better daddy, I love you and need you.