This post was inspired by the memoir Raising My Rainbow by Lori Duron as she shares her journey raising a gender creative son. Join From Left to Write on September 5 as we discuss Raising My Rainbow. As a member on the online book club, From Left to Write, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.
If you have brothers and sisters, or you have more than one child you understand my title, Every Child is Unique.
There has long been the discussion of Nature vs. Nurture. Are children more affected by genetic inheritance of traits and characteristics and is that why they grow up the way they do, or can you change a child's traits, characteristics and path in life through the way you nurture that child?
A question as complex, compelling and unanswerable as "what came first, the chicken or the egg?"
My 27 year old son that has not seen his father since he was age 7, yet he displays so many of his father's mannerisms and has so many of his same interests, especially in the music he likes. Nature right?
This same son also has a heart filled with love for his family. His father obviously lacked that. Did my son grow up family oriented because of the way I raised him and because he grew up surrounded by family? Nurture right?
Maybe it's both, nurture and nature, hand in hand. All I know is each child is unique and should be loved and protected and nurtured and praised for the individual he/she is. No labels, no expectations, just a helping hand to keep them safe and make sure they are successful, happy, well-adjusted adults.
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The nature / nurture question is one that has fascinated me in the past. My own belief is that it is a combination. There is no doubt in my mind your son would be a different person if he had been raised by his father. Nurture.
ReplyDeleteOn my last business trip before I retired, I went to visit a cousin that I had seen once at a funeral since 1960. I was blown away, in speech, mannerisms, and physical habits being with my cousin was like being with the ghost of my father who had died in 1983. It was kind of spooky, my cousin was far more like my father than I am. Nature.
Hi Sextant,
DeleteI believe it's definitely a mixture of both nature & nurture. It always freaks me out when we go to family reunions and I see cousins that I haven't seen in years and we have the same speech, mannerisms and physical habits as you mentioned. But yet again we are so different. My son even makes this weird little sound with his mouth when he tastes something he likes, his dad did that too and I've never seen anyone else do it. Spooky indeed!
As the mother of two adopted children I have had ample opportunity to ponder on this age-old question. I truly believe that one is as important as the other, but that nurture is what can make the difference in allowing the flourishing of what nature has contributed.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you too Pondside, it's in how you nurture a child that makes all the difference in the world! I didn't know you were the mother of two adopted children...that is wonderful!
DeleteI agree...labels do little to capture the uniqueness of an individual!
ReplyDelete