Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Over-Attachment Syndrome or do I Just Fall in Love Too Easily?

Last week I wrote a post inspired by a book called The Divorce Papers. Loved this book! Was sad to see it end because I loved and admired the characters so much. I wanted to remain “best friends forever” with them and now there is a hole in my heart where they used to be because they were just made up people, no matter how real they became to me.

Well this next book I read for my online book club was on the opposite end of the spectrum! I couldn't wait to finish this book and did not care for the characters at all! In fact I really disliked them!

But I guess that’s like life. Throughout the day we run into people that we really like. It could be just a simple little conversation with your local barista or the clerk at the supermarket or a waitress at a restaurant and I find myself wishing I could get to know that person better and wondering about them and how the rest of their lives will turn out.

For example, last week I had dinner with a dear old friend. We were meeting at a local restaurant that we had both heard good things about but neither of us had ever been there, RJ’s Bar and Grill.

I got there before my friend and let me tell you…I am not a fan of sitting alone in a restaurant! That is the one thing I have never been able to do. I know people that go at lunch time to a nice restaurant or a fast food place and just sit there alone and have a meal but I can’t do it! I’m just too self-conscious. That is my one little weird quirk, but I've never been able to get over it! And I have tried!

Anyway, that is a post for another day! So this adorably cute little waitress comes over to see what I would like to drink and I tell her I’m waiting for a friend and not ready to order a drink yet. She says “No worries, I’ll bring you some water with lemon.” And she did and I sat there pretending to be engrossed in my cell phone like everyone else but feeling so uncomfortable!

A bit later she comes over, just to see how I’m doing and I tell her I’m ok and my friend should be there soon. After a bit my friend texts me that she is running late and she apologizes and I tell her it’s ok, take your time, drive safe, no hurry! My cute little waitress comes back again to check on me and to refresh my water.

After another long while my friend calls that she is lost and wants to know if RJ’s is east or west of Gosford! Heck if I know! So my little waitress is running by and I stop her and she’s just as befuddled as I am but she runs over to a table full of people and asks them and they tell her it’s east and she comes running back with this very important info and I tell my friend.

I hang up and she tells me how she is sorry she couldn't tell me right away but she’s not from Bakersfield. So I ask her where she’s from and she tells me she’s from Huntington Beach. Huntington Beach? I ask her what in the world she is doing in Bakersfield. And I said, “Oh wait…you fell in love right?” And she giggles and says “Yes” while holding up her wedding ring finger to show off a pretty nice chunk of diamond!

And I said, “Oh well, that makes sense then, only for love would someone choose to leave the land of milk and honey for Bakersfield!” She thought that was hilarious!

My friend finally finds her way to the restaurant and our waitress comes back and we get to talking about my friend being lost and I tell the story again of how she moved to Bakersfield for love and we all get a glimpse of the wedding ring and we gush and giggle and we’re just girls! It was fun. My friend and I ate, drank, talked and had a wonderful time and at the end of the evening when it was time to go home I felt sad to be leaving my little waitress, she had won a place in my heart! Hmmm, maybe I just love to easily? There’s probably a word for that? Anyone know? Over-attachment Syndrome?

This post was inspired by the novel The Idea of Him by Holly Peterson. Allie thought she had the perfect husband, until she finds him and another woman in a compromising position in their own apartment. Join From Left to Write on April we discuss The Idea of Him. Join us for a live chat with Holly on April 3.  As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.



Sextant said...

Love addict?

Sandor Rado in 1928 first delineated the term "love addict" -- 'a person whose needs for more love, more succor, more support grow as rapidly as the frustrated people around her try to fill up what is, in effect, a terrible and unsatisfiable inner emptiness.' From Wikipedia.

Nah that don't sound like you. I shall invent a term: compulsive hyperphiliac. Hyper from the Greek meaning too much, and philiac one who loves.

In any event it sounded like you had a nice lunch.

Alicia said...

Hyperphiliac sounds like someone that bleeds to death, oh wait...I googled and that's hemophilia, never mind!

I think sadly, as much as I would like to think that I'm aloof and distant, I'm actually just someone that loves everyone and wonders about them. Case in point...just this morning I glanced out my window and saw a man across the street wearing a hoodie and just standing there on the sidewalk looking down, not moving. So I called to attention my co-worker and wondered aloud with her about what that man is doing, why is he not moving, what is he thinking about? He stood there quite a while and then walked a few feet and stopped again. I continued thinking aloud and my co-worker just looked at me like "don't you have anything better to do?" and then she just shook her head and walked away. I will probably worry about that guy until something else catches my attention.

But then again maybe I'm just nosy and I need to just get back to work :)

Betsy M. said...

Fun story! I've "met" some people that have left an impression on me like the waitress did on you. It's fun having those strange and quick connections.

Alicia said...

Glad I'm not alone in It always helps to put things out there because someone will respond that that have had a similar experience and then I don't feel so weird! Thanks for commenting!

Janin said...

Some of my best friends started as fun strange quick connections. In fact (lol) if you take it strongly enough, it's called "Love at First Sight", yes? (; And like you, there are characters I have fallen in love with and will pull their books from my shelves to visit again.

Alicia said...

Yes! Love at first sight! And there are characters I love to revisit in books too! Thanks for commenting!

Jennifer Wolfe said...

You must just be the kind of person who people can sense your warmth and genuineness-maybe it's the way people react to you!

Alicia said...

Well that's a thought Jennifer :) I would hope that might be it, or maybe I just look lost in a crowd when I'm by myself? In a way it's kind of nice that I don't just go through life oblivious of others. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! :)

Cupcake Kelly said...

I think it is nice to find the genuine and niceness in people we don't know. Waitresses, Cashiers, etc... I also think sometimes these people get a beating from the nasty customers that when someone is nice to them both parties get along :)

Eunice said...

I found the main character unlikeable in the book as well. Bakersfield isn't too far away. Hope to see you at BlogHer this summer!

Alicia said...

Well said! It is nice to find genuinely nice people! And to be one in return.

Alicia said...

That's right! It's in San Jose this year right? It would be nice to attend but will look forward to just visiting via pictures and blog posts, but then again you never know.