Just started reading the book The Opposite of Maybe. I'm on page 19 and already it's pissed me off like hell!
I'm not a man hater, I'm not against relationships, I'm not against marriage, but I am against women modeling themselves to be whatever a man wants them to be, or whatever they THINK a man wants them to be.
I'm against women following blindly like sheep to fulfill the dreams of a man, no matter what they have to give up.
I'm against women giving up their own identity for a man.
In the book this woman Rosie is asking her mate Jonathan to go with her to visit her 88 year old grandmother, the woman who raised her. She has no one but her grandmother as her mother died when she was three and her grandmother raised her. She has to go and tell her grandmother that she believes it's time to have a home health aide come in to take care of her and she is dreading telling her grandmother this. She needs Jonathan's support and love and she asks him to please come with her. He makes faces, tells her he's a busy man and he's got things to do.
She knows he has nothing to do, nothing as important as what she is going to do so she starts to try to convince him and he tells her "No, no, no. This is not going to be a negotiation, where I say what I'm doing and then you say it's not important."
Then his cell phone rings and he picks it up and then mouths to her "this is important" and heads outside to take the call. She watches him through the window of the restaurant where they are having breakfast.
He finishes his call, comes back in and she says "Well?" He tells her the call was from a man in California (Rosie and Jonathan live in New York) who is starting up a museum and called to offer him the opportunity to move to California to be a partner in starting up this museum.
Rosie is stunned, she can't believe it, she tells him "You're just going to move to California and leave everything behind?" He instantly starts bashing their current life, that they are stagnating and they need something new, that he can't get it together there anymore, he needs a new beginning, he's getting old, he feels like he's falling in a hole, he needs something big and important to happen.
Rosie instantly thinks of her grandmother, her job, her friends and he tells her, "Oh, now don't go invoking you grandmother on me. If your grandmother thought you were even thinking of giving up one single opportunity because of her, she'd run you down with her convertible. And as for your friends--there's' e-mail and Facebook and cell phones."
This man...who 5 minutes ago could not take time out of his precious day to accompany Rosie to see her grandmother and support her in giving her grandmother bad news, expects Rosie at the drop of a hat and after one 5 minute phone call to CHANGE HER WHOLE LIFE because he wants to do something he wants to do!
So what does she do? She thinks in her head that this man "has said no to absolutely everything imaginable for so long now--to sex, to parties, to pieces of pie after dinner, to creativity, even to the little girl at their table this morning. He walks through life with a big chilly NO on his lips, and now, by God, he has said yes to something, and he needs her to say it too!"
So she says Yes.
That's as far as I've gotten and as I said, I'm pissed as hell.
This post was inspired by the novel The Opposite of Maybe by Maddie Dawson. At the age of 44 Rosie finds herself suddenly single and pregnant. She tries to hide in her grandmother's home, but meets two men that will change her life forever. Join From Left to Write on April 8 as we discuss The Opposite of Maybe. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.
UPDATE - I finished the book and luckily I was able to finish reading it and ended up liking it, although it was very predictable.
Perhaps this book just is not for you! I must say though that I am enjoying your fiery response.
ReplyDeleteSweet reading.
I've been getting very passionate about books lately! I've continued reading and I know she's not going to end up with this guy...so that makes it easier to keep going. But yeah...it really ruffled my feathers!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by, always an honor :)
I guess I better not pick up the book, I don't want to get pissed too!
ReplyDeleteHahaha, well you might not. I may have been having a bad day, or the book may be really bad. Don't know yet as I didn't have a chance to read any more of it as I received another book I had to read before this one. But I'll let you know. Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteI definitely didn't care for Rosie's boyfriend. I'm glad you ended up enjoying the novel.
ReplyDeleteHi Kim...yes, the boyfriend was the worst! The book took some time to warm up too. But it was a good story in the end.
DeleteI'm glad this book made you think, Alicia! And glad you liked it in the end. I think you make a really good point about women following men's leads, Alicia. And that's one of the things I was hoping to get across in the book--how a woman who didn't know her mother, didn't have a good role model growing up, didn't ever feel herself to be truly loved for who she is--might find herself in just that sort of predicament, scared to go after what SHE wanted in life because she wasn't ever given the chance to see. But I hoped to show how this person might change the story she's been telling herself all along--and come to find happiness after all. Thanks for your thoughtful analysis of it!
ReplyDeleteThanks Maddie for reading my post and commenting! I do believe that there is still a long, long way for women to go in this world. I grew up being expected to be a housewife and mother and turned out to be a career woman and single mother. We never know what life is going to hand to us, but I was blessed with a mother than loved me regardless, even though she can't understand my life as she was a housewife and mother.
DeleteI like to imagine how Rosie's life continues on with a baby she never expected and I think she's going to be a wonderful mom.
Happy you were able to finish the book, I loved it, and find that I don't always know one way or the other about things until I"m at least half way in. Rosie was, for me, an amazing character.
ReplyDeleteI usually give a book a chance, which I did with this one, but for some reason that first part of the book just hit me hard! I guess that's good, the book made me experience very passionate feelings about the characters. Thanks northsidefour for stopping by and commenting.
DeleteI found this book aggrivating as well, for other reasons though. I think though that everyone hated Jonathan.
ReplyDeleteIt was a tad predictable I think. I knew she was going to end up with the other guy. It's sad when you read a book and you can't even remember the names of the character because there were just not that memorable. Thanks for the comment!
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