This post was inspired by the novel Afterwards by Rosamund Lupton. After witnessing her children's school set ablaze, Grace attempts to find the arsonist as her teenage daughter lies in a coma in Lupton's suspense thriller. Join From Left to Write on April 11 as we discuss Afterwards. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposesI have to tell you that I really enjoyed this book. Many of the others in our group mentioned how difficult it was to read because they put themselves into the place of the main character Grace and her child who was in a coma, but for me it was different because of what I and my family are going through right now with my dad.
My dad who is will be 82 years of age in a little less than a month took a spill recently and fractured his pelvis. He has been residing in an assisted living facility and is slowly healing. It's been a long two weeks and I've been spending all the time I can with him. This was unexpected...of course it was, it was an accident and they wouldn't be called accidents if they were expected right?
I have always tried to make sure that if anything happens to me my kids would be protected financially. They wouldn't be rich or anything, but there would be enough for them to bury me and have funds left over for them to go to school or put a down payment on a home or something. But I've never thought about what would happen if I became hurt, in a coma or unable to take care of my physical needs and I had to be in a skilled nursing center or an assisted living facility?
You can bet that I will begin to prepare for that now. I am learning with my dad's fall that trying to navigate the rough waters of Medicare, parts A and B and Medical and in-home health care while trying to be supportive to my dad and wanting only to spend time with him helping him to heal and not having to deal with all the other crap is tougher than you might think and I don't want my loved ones to suffer through this as well.
In the book they didn't really go into finances and insurance and how they were going to pay for hospital stays and medications, but in real life the reality of those things can devastate a family at a time when they need to be supportive to each other.
Plan people...plan. You know the old saying, the best laid plans of mice and men? Tragedy will strike all of us one day, rich or poor, good planner or bad, so wouldn't it be better to be prepared?
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I am so glad your dad is healing. After reading your post I turned to my husband and told him to pull the plug on me if I were in a coma and it was going to destitute our family. You are so right, we all need to plan!!!!
ReplyDeleteWe do need to plan. It's good to tell our loved ones what we want but we also need to put it in writing. Definitely look into an Advance Health Care Directive. Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it greatly!
DeleteWe never do know what will happen in life...we plan for what we can, and take it as it comes.
ReplyDeleteThat's been my theory up to now. I've always figured that all I need to do is get through today, but now with what has happened with my dad I realize that I need to plan better so that my children don't have to go through what my siblings and I are now going through. Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it greatly!
DeleteThinking of you and your family as you help your father. My father was diagnosed with brain cancer at 56...thank goodness my parents had planned and we could focus on our time with him rather than panicking about finances. A great reminder.
ReplyDeleteThanks Amy. Mom and Dad tried to plan too, they both purchased a pre-need funeral plan and paid for their cemetery plots and faithfully put aside money for their retirement and they are both comfortable enough, but none of us ever thought that they might need long term care and that can eat up every penny they have set aside in no time at all! Makes one think, that's for sure. Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it greatly!
DeleteThoughts and prayers reaching out to you and your family as you deal with your Dad's accident. The website www.getyourshittogether.com is wonderful in directing you toward everything you need to do in preparation for that unexpected accident.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Bren for the thoughts and prayers. I will definitely look at that website you recommended that is so aptly named :)
DeleteOne good thing out of all of this is that I have realized how many people out there are knowledgeable about all matter of things and ready to help in deed and/or thought...we just need to ask.
I have been tempted at different times in my life to get into one or another long term care policy. I have found though that the cost is prohibitive. The other thing that bothers me about these plans is that you pay through the snout for them but what happens when the company goes belly up or consolidates with other companies or finds a new provider or offshores or vertically integrates or is absorbed or chapter this or that....
ReplyDeleteLong and short you stick a ton of money into this crap and its gone. The bastards that run the company into the ground ride off into the sunset with hugh bank accounts. We the dung encrusted masses get screwed again. Plan but plan carefully.
Hope your Dad recovers from his fall in short order.
I never thought of that. Nothing is guaranteed except death and taxes right? We plan the best way we can but unfortunately in these days of uncertainty we never know if what we are doing now, today, to secure our future is going to payoff, or whether or not there will even be a future to worry about. For now I just have to get my dad healthy and hopefully back home and make sure my kids are protected in case the same thing happens to me, aside from that I just hope for lots of luck!
DeleteThanks so much for being such a faithful commenter and friend :)
Alicia, I'm sending you my thoughts, prayers, and love and hugs.
ReplyDeleteHere is a quote from Dave Ramsey who recommends long term care insurance for people approaching the age of 60. I know you are not that close to 60 yet but this is something to remember.
Long-Term Care Insurance
"This isn’t necessary until you hit age 60. After that it becomes vital. A nursing home can cost about $50,000 a year per person. If you and your spouse go into an assisted living facility with $300,000 in life savings, you’ll have it used up so fast you won’t believe it.
"If you are approaching 60, start looking at long-term care insurance. Don’t buy it before then (it’s not necessary enough at that point) or after (it can get too expensive).
Excellent advise. I'm not that close to 60 yet, but honey, I ain't that far away from it either...lol.
DeleteThe funny thing is I'm an insurance agent, I'm licensed for health, life and medical insurance. I know all this stuff but like an ostrich I stick my head in the sand and just hope for the best.
What has happened with my dad is making me rethink everything. We always just think that -BOOM-, we die, but it's not always quick and painless, sometimes we linger, causing pain and being a burden to our loved ones. Not that dad is a burden, he's a joy! But I know me, as picky and stubborn as I am...I'm going to be a handful when I get up there in age...lol.
Thanks for much for that advice from Dave Ramsey and thanks for your thoughts, prayers, love and hugs dear friend!