Monday, September 24, 2012

Adventures in Funeral Service

Several years ago I worked for a funeral home. I have to say it was one of my most favorite jobs ever! I know! You wouldn't think so would you? But of all the jobs that I've ever had that was the only one where I ever felt that my being there really made a difference to someone, to whole families.

I remember the interview like it was yesterday, talk about being nervous. But the interview was nothing compared to my first day on the job. I remember coming in through the garage where the hearses were parked. I know...hearses! Can you imagine seeing hearses every single day?

But wait...that was nothing. I walked in trying to squeeze past the hearses and I look to my right into the open door and I see a very sterile white room that looked like a doctor's office. In this room I see a gurney and on the gurney I see a  body laying there very quietly. Of course this person was very quiet, this person was dead!
Trust me...I thought, "What am I doing here?"

I took a deep breath and thought about my kids and how I needed this job so I could be close to them and close to their schools and I kept on walking into the office. And every day it got easier.

I was never really thrilled about the embalming room and tried not to go into there very often, although there were times that I had to go in there when there was no one else to help the embalmer. Sometimes it was just to steady the body to position it into the casket, sometimes it was to help load the casket into the back of the hearse.

I have to give credit to the embalmers though, to them it wasn't just a job, it was a calling. They took such pride in their jobs and I saw them take bodies that had been mutilated and transforming them so that their loved ones could see them and touch them...one last time.

There are jobs that none of us want to do and then there are those that do them. Like embalmers who face death head on every day. So the next time you are at a funeral home for visitation, remember that someone treated that person laying in the casket like that person was someones father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, sister, brother, whatever that person was, they don't think of that person as a scary dead body, but as someones loved one.

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17 comments:

  1. Oh my. I'm not sure if I could work for a funeral home. I've never thought of embalmers having a calling. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Working in a funeral home was one of the toughest jobs I ever loved!

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  2. I would have a tough time working there. Although I had a friend who was a hairstylist at one and she enjoyed her job because no one ever complained.

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    1. Hahaha Rebecca...so true, you don't get many complaints. I was offered $25 per person to do their hair, but I don't even like touching live people's hair!

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  3. Yes. A calling.

    To comfort families, to treat their loved-ones with respect. That is a calling and a gift to humanity.

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    1. You said that perfectly Linda. Certain occupations just have to be a calling, not just anyone can do them. Thank you for commenting!

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  4. Loved your post. Often we forget that those few people that take care of our bodies after we depart them, for the majority that is, enjoy what they do and respect us.

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    1. Thank you Rebecca. We do often forgot those people. It was never more noticeable to me than during 9/11. There were a lot of hero's that day and not taking anything away from them but you never heard mention those that took care of remains and I can only imagine what they saw. Thanks for commenting!

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  5. What a sensitive and informative post. The dignity that is given to the body after death is something that we take for granted, but about which we don't like to think too much. I'm grateful that there are people who recognise their calling and do such valuable work.

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    1. Thank you! I can honestly say that the embalmers and funeral directors I worked with were excellent people with a true calling. I remember once over hearing one of the funeral directors tell one of the embalmers that they never cut the back of the deceased clothes. I guess it's somewhat normal to cut the back of the suit or dress brought in to dress the loved one in as it makes it easier to dress them. But where I worked that was not allowed. You may have to work a little hard to dress the body, but you respect them and dressed them as their loved ones meant you to do it.

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  6. Loved this post! My husband's family owns a funeral home. It is a calling. His memory of nightly family dinners is "whose body arrived today." And, yes, they were all treated with love and dignity.

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    1. Thanks Bren! Then you know exactly what I'm talking about! What used to really amaze me is when the embalmers would wash up and come from the embalming room into the kitchen which was close to my office and they would take out their lunch and sit to eat and of course "talk shop". I often wondered how they could eat while talking about the embalming procedures they performed. So many stories in a funeral home family, I'm sure you've heard your share!

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  7. Funeral directors, EMTs, and ER personnel. I don't know how they do it but I am glad they do.

    When there has been a death in the family, it is a really weird time. You can't think straight, yet there is a certain logistics of death that must be addressed. The funeral people seem to slip out unnoticed and take care of their grim business. It is a very odd trade. Why am I not surprised that you were in the business Alicia?

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  8. I am so grateful to all in this profession. My dad passed away this year and my mom three years ago. Such tact, kindness and understanding from the funeral directors. I salute them all.

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  9. Wow. I'd forgotten about your past career in this...intriguing field. And you're right, of course...it's someone's loved one...or, it was. I'm imagining that anything could conceivably become easier the longer you're exposed to it. And it probably helps to have not known that person in life, so that the emotion is taken out of it now that they've passed.

    It's certainly not your run-of-the-mill work background. I've love to get a peek at your resume!! xo

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  10. Sextant - Well I guess I'm going to have to comment old school as my commenting machine with the cool reply button at the bottom was/is on the fritz. What does that mean "on the fritz"? I bet you know don't you?

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  11. Guessing "on the fritz" is a German colloquialism for All F---ed Up. However, Fritz being this really sexy German guy, or perhaps his ahh ahh well you know. In which case on the fritz may be something altogether more joyous.

    Fortunately being in these modern times, we no longer have to guess we have URB AN DICTIONARY

    on the fritz
    When something stops working, malfunctions, or acts in a way contrary to its usual manner.
    I would've called you, but my phone is on the fritz.

    2.
    Used to refer to when things temporarily break down.

    Now used to describe a person or persons falsely imprisoning and raping family members, similar to being 'on the rob'.
    'I haven't seen Dave for a while'
    'I hear he's on the fritz'

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Please leave a comment.I would love to know your thoughts!