Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Bacon Don't BBQ

Remember last month on March 8th when I mentioned what a terrific adequate BBQ,er I am becoming? Remember my BBQ'd corn? Remember my telling you how I come from a long line of BBQ,ers  extraordinaire? Well since I've BBQ'd once and it turned out perfect ok...I thought I'd BBQ again yesterday. I again made burgers and hot dogs and they came out much better than last time. So feeling cocky and confident, I decided that I would BBQ strips of bacon, just like my dad and my brother Fred do perfectly all the time.

Here you see The Men in my Life. My brother Fred in the white t-shirt with the tongs...he's the King of BBQ Chicken; my brother Jaime in the red shirt with his hand in his pocket...he's the King of Assisting as he's usually the one helping Fred and while I understand from his daughter Clarissa that he's a great BBQ'er, I've never eaten anything he's BBQ'd. And of course the King of BBQ plain and simple, my dad Federico standing in the back there with his hand on the BBQ grill which was custom made for him by his brother Manuel. Dad has taught these two boys all he knows about BBQ'ing and a little, tiny bit of what he taught them kinda/sorta rubbed off on me.

So I figured with all those BBQ genes roaming around inside of me I can probably BBQ Bacon just like they do. WRONG!!! Wrong, wrong, wrong! This is what the stuff oozing out of the bottom of my little BBQ grill looked like. I kid you not! All that bacon grease caught on fire and was just oozing out looking like molten lava! It just dripped out all over the concrete slab underneath and continued to burn!

Now see...I don't have a fancy custom made BBQ grill like my dad has. One that you can lower and raise the grill if the heat gets too hot or too cold. Nope, I just have your standard Weber BBQ Grill with the grill just sitting on the coals. I tried putting the smoker lid on it but that damn Bacon wouldn't quit burning. And the smoke!!! Geesh, the smoke! It was crazy. You would have thought I was burning a forest in my backyard! And I do believe yesterday was a "no burn" day in Kern County! I'm lucky the fire department didn't respond and fine me!

I removed the few strips that didn't totally disintegrate into the river of molten lava and finished them off in the microwave, but I'm pretty sure I will never try to BBQ bacon ever again!


  1. Bacon? I've never heard of that - but have had the molten lava pour out of the bbq and have therefore sworn never, ever to bbq again!
    Thanks for the morning laugh!!


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