There are actually a few website devoted to lists of pet peeves, there's pppeeves.com, you can even check your annoyance level on that one and then there's getannoyed.com. My favorite pet peeve on that site being when famous people give their kids strange names, that bugs the heck out of me too!
One of MY biggest pet peeves is people that stay in the far left lane even when they know that lane is going to end up ahead and then expect everyone to stop and let them merge right into the lane that is now going to become the far left lane. Does that make sense? No? Ok, let me show you a drawing of what I mean.
Ok, so above you see 3 lanes of traffic. Don't you love my cars? Purple, Red and Blue. The long ones are truck-tractors cause they are my 'bread and butta! The cars in purple in the far left lane...I call those people the A-Holes as the label clearly shows. (Pardon my french, but they are A-Holes!) I usually am in the red lane (the middle lane) and it peeves me greatly when those A-Holes in purple in the far left know they have to merge ahead but they gotta get one more car ahead until they can just STOP all traffic in my red lane so they can get in!
As they are passing me, I yell out at them (in my head of course cause I am a proper lady and everyone knows that proper ladies can curse in their heads as long as that filth doesn't come out of our mouths!), "That's right A-Hole! Pass me! I'm sure wherever you are going is a much, much more important and special a place than where I am going, so by all means...............pass me! A-Hole!" Then I end up having to slam on my brakes cause everyone ahead of me is slamming on their brakes cause all the A-Holes in the far left lane are now merging!!!
So this morning, I'm driving along having my morning chat with my sister and I am telling her how I heard on the news that there will be some construction on the "99" this morning and to avoid the area if possible and I forgot and got on the "99" anyway. She's telling me that she saw that too and meant to remind me but she forgot too! (I think it's all the nachos and tequila that makes us so forgetful. It's definitely not our age!)
So I'm driving for once in the purple lane, the far left because when I get on the freeway I have about 18 miles to go before I get to my destination so I go in the fast lane cause that's how I roll people! I got places I gotta be and I don't want to be held up! Alrighty then, I'm in the fast lane and the traffic starts backing up and I chat with my sis about that and then all of a sudden on the left side of the road, right in front of me, is a BIG sign saying "LEFT 2 LANES CLOSED AHEAD".
It's then that I realize that I am in the far left lane! That lane is going to close ahead and when I move into the right lane that lane is going to close ahead as well and I'm going to have to merge right TWICE! So all of a sudden I realize that I now am the A-Hole!! And I tell my sister, "OMG sis, guess what? My lane is gonna end and I'm going to be that A-Hole I hate that slows up traffic further by having to merge!"
My sis busts up laughing at me! I'm mortified! Not to mention I hate merging in tons of traffic. Luckily truck drivers are the Angels of the Highway because two of them let me in and I merged safely and was only 20 minutes late to work!
And that's my story of how I started this day by being an A-Hole. Unintentionally of course, but I'm sure all those people that had to slam on their brakes so I could merge didn't think it was unintentional...they just thought, "There goes another A-Hole with places to be that are more important than mine!"
Oh, by the way...in the very detailed drawing above...you see the first purple car?...you see that yellow in the bottom right corner of the car? That's the blinker! The blinker I have to stare at! It's like a little blinking light taunting me and saying, "Hahaha, you have to wait for me to merge, Nani nani nani!" Grrr!
From one A-hole to another, we all have our days as the a-hole. My pet peeve is people who set off their car alarm, you know HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK and just casually go about (10 honks) their business as if nothing (15 honks) is wrong. Let it honk, I'll get to (20 honks) it sooner or later. Keep putting (25 honks) your groceries in the trunk, (30 honks) strap the little kiddies (35 honks) in to the back seat, oh answer the cell phone (40 honks).... When I become king of the world, my courtesy patrol will apply as many lashes to their asses right on the spot as the damn horn honked after the first 5 freebies. I detest that. I get in a murderous rage over it. So there is my pet peeve, which I am willing to commit homicide over.
ReplyDeleteSo one Saturday morning about 5 years ago on a snowy December morning, I pull into my driveway at 5:30 in the morning after being on the road all night. I was returning from a business trip in Georgia in rental SUV chucked full of equipment. There was a laptop computer on top of the pile right next to the tail gate window, all I wanted to do was get the lap top out of the vehicle and go hit the sack. I was dead tired. So I unlocked the vehicle from the inside the front door and get out. Buried the key in my pocket and go around to the tailgate and open the gate window. The damned alarm goes off. I am fumbling for the key out of my pocket, finally get it out and then dropped it, not just dropped it but sent it flying halfway down my steep slick driveway. So now I have to toddle carefully down the driveway to fetch the key, meanwhile honk...honk...honk. I finally get my hand on the key and I am pressing buttons like a mad man. Nothing, the son of bitch keeps honking. So I toddle up the driveway put the key in the ignition and started it. That finally stopped it. Anyhow, can I be an A-hole at three o'clock in the afternoon? No. I have to do it a 5:30 in the morning. Can I be an a-hole out some place on the road or a hotel where no one knows me? No, I have to do it in my driveway. So, yes we all have our days to be the a-hole and it usually strikes in the form of a pet peeve.
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ReplyDeleteAll I gotta say is LMAO!
ReplyDeleteI hate it when people won't get over when others are trying to merge. It's so rude! Every once in a while I can't get over because there's traffic in the other lane and I just feel terrible.
ReplyDeleteI think you deserve a one day pass and that you definitely aren't the A-hole. I'd die if I had to drive in your type of traffic!
Sextant - Wow! That's worse than my pet peeve...lol. Mine only bugged me and the few truckers that had to let me in. You I'm sure disturbed lots of neighbors! But I'm sure some of them had it coming...am I right?
ReplyDeleteI've had that happen before though where you can't stop the honking unless you restart the car. Technology right?
Angie - I knew you would like my little story.
ReplyDeletePaula - I need to go over and visit you. It's been a while. Believe it or not it's almost 6pm and I'm still working. Well ok, not working since you can see I'm checking my blog...lol.
ReplyDeleteThis one lady would just not let me merge this morning and then she put her left arm up with her head in her hand to block me so she wouldn't have to look at me!
Traffic here is definitely getting worse every day. I usually hang around the office 15 or 20 minutes just to let the dare devils that have to get home at 200 miles an hour get off the road.
Alicia, you A-hole. Haha just kidding. I love your story. You made me laugh and your drawings, well, I've never seen such detailed drawings before. I hate when people do that do. It's just one of my many pet peeves. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who leave their shopping carts in the parking lot. In Las Vegas, we have lots of wind and those shopping carts that are strapped in go barrelling across the parking lot like a bats out of hell and a fire under their ass and then slam into empty parked cars. Ugh! It's very annoying, not to mention destructive.
ReplyDeleteI see I have several type-o's in the above post.
ReplyDeleteThe following should read:
I hate when people do that TOO.
Those shopping carts that AREN'T strapped in.
~JarieLyn~ Hey! I've been called worse...lol. Yeah, shopping carts are a big pet peeve to me too. I always return them to the racks provided. Another huge pet peeve is those that leave their trash in parking lots! I hate that!
ReplyDeleteI believe I made quite a few typos in a comment I left you as well....lol. You're so sweet to recomment and let me know what you really meant to say, me...I just assumed you would know...lol.