It's Been Two Months - Update on my Mom

 Today marks two months since we brought mom home from the hospital under Hospice care.

I wish I could tell you that she’s back to her old self, getting up on her own and making her coffee, sitting in her chair saying her rosary and then getting up to move to the couch to work on her beading and watch Howie Mandel on Deal or No Deal, then making her lunch and doing some laundry. I really wish I could tell you that the doctors were wrong and she’s beating lung cancer and old age…I really wish I could tell you that.

These past two months have been challenging for me, my sister, our brothers, and mom’s grandkids. Witnessing the decline of someone you love is perhaps the hardest thing you will ever be witness to. While we all feel deeply honored to carry this woman’s blood in our veins, to have been raised and loved by her, we are so much more honored to accompany her on this road to her end of life.

It has not been all rainbows and butterflies; it’s been hard. Mom has always been very stubborn and independent, reluctant to ask for or accept help. Now that she truly needs our help, it’s even more difficult for her to accept it. It has been beautiful though to watch her loved ones care for her, to jump at her slightest movement in case she needs them or needs something from them. It’s been especially poignant to watch how her grandkids care for her with such tenderness and love, if she were to ask for a star from the sky, they would bring her a whole galaxy if they could.

So, we have her with us yet another day, we all hope for yet another day. Mom though is ready, she’s told us she’s ready, she wants to go, she’s tired. She speaks often with her sisters that have gone before her, she calls out for our dad in her sleep. It is heartbreaking.