Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Why I Finally Had to Unfollow Someone on Social Media

 I recently had to unfollow someone on Instagram, Facebook and a Group we were in together. Now I don’t do this…ever! If I don’t like what someone says, I just disregard it because I know that I can’t agree with everyone 100% of the time, we are all individuals. If we just get rid of everyone in our world that doesn’t agree with us, what a boring world it would be.

But I just couldn’t in all good conscience continue to follow this person or her group. She’s had quite a rant about Donald Trump in the past, but on the day of the chaos that happened at the State Capitol, Wednesday, January 6, she just came unglued.

Let me go back to the beginning, she has a YouTube channel, which I have also unfollowed. She’s growing quite a few subscribers and with good reason as she’s fun, funny, smart, creative and has a “no fear” attitude that I love when it comes to creating Art, she just dives in and hopes for the best and 99.9% of the time it’s a work of Art!

She also has a Facebook Group for all those that follow her YouTube channel and want to share their art and get together with like-minded art loving, creative types. The group was fun, I enjoyed sharing my art work and getting feedback and I loved seeing everyone else’s art because it was inspirational.

On the day of the Capitol Riots she came online into the Facebook Group…which is her Facebook Group, she started it, she’s the administrator and I suppose she felt she had the right to express her political opinion on it. I didn’t copy down her exact words and now since I’ve left the group, I can’t go back to see them, but the gist of it was “Oh my God, Trump and Trumpers are the worst, this is disgusting and if any of you reading this are Trumpers then just get the hell out of my group or tell me and I will automatically ban you!”

Several people took offense and left a comment only to receive such vile and vicious replies from her and from others in the group that it was sickening. As if what was happening to the American Way and Democracy at the Capitol was not disheartening enough, she had to bring that hatred and single-mindedness into what was/is an Art Group for Creative people, not that creative people can’t and don’t have opinion, but “time and place” people, “time and place”.

I was saddened by her anger and hatred and even more so by the way she personally attacked and let others attack people that did not think like her.

I’m not saying that I am on the side of Trump, or the Republicans, or the Democrats or that I even have any political affiliation, that is my own personal private business, I believe what I believe and I don’t force my beliefs on others, unless someone asks my opinion.

Regardless, moving forward to a couple of days ago, I went to her YouTube channel during my lunch hour and was watching a video she posted recently and in it she said, and I paraphrase “I have not posted since my rant on Facebook and whoo boy, all I can say is Sorry, Not Sorry.” So, which is it? Sorry? Why say Sorry at all if you are going to follow it up with Not Sorry. Because of course, she is not Sorry. She felt justified in vilifying and attacking supporters of Trump.

I don’t understand how someone can justify hatred of a group of people, whether those people are members of a particular political party, race, gender, etc. I just could not in all good conscience continue to listen to her spew such venom and while I will miss her videos and her creativity and her group and the friends I have made in the group, I just can’t stomach hatred.


  1. I know your comment sections says you'd love know our thoughts, but you may not want mine. I don't know who you are referring to, but I will clarify something from my perspective. When people are ranting about those that support Trump, they rant towards the ones that seriously no matter what that man did or say, ever, still think this man walks on water and have literally put him on a pedestal next to Christ. Read a few comments on Fox news. Holy Hannah, they compare him to Moses, and Solomon, and David. It's truly insane. There is a difference between being politically different in terms of the best use of taxes, differences in opinions towards policy on anti-regulations to support business vs opinions that these anti-regs hurt the environment. Those are political differences and should be discussed, debated, and thought through with all sides being heard. Even hot button subjects like police reform and immigration can be civilly discussed between different political affiliations. But that was not Trump, who was known, and proud of his business acumen that bankrupted businesses and left employees and contractors in the lurch, paid virtually no taxes, bragged about sexually assaulting women, then if that wasn't enough to keep him from getting elected, once in office he regularly ate his own if they dared to show some intelligence and challenge his alternate state of reality. I think most people will look back and realize any good that came from these last four years were in spite of him, not because of him-enough people still knew what their job was and how to do it right, and were able to stay out of his radar (or he simply didn't care about that topic enough.). He stated on record that he would leave people in blue states to fend for themselves because their Governors didn't give him enough positive outpouring after lying about what he knew was going to be a bad health impact months before! His arrogance had him dismantling what he could from the previous administration, then never having anything to replace it like he campaigned on. Where is his health plan? It was a five year con and his party knows this now and are trying to figure out how they let this happen. There is a different between being of a different political affiliation and being a die hard Trump supporter-and it is dangerous as was seen on January 6th. I don't hate these people-I feel like they have been brain washed and are victims like all others that have been in his path have been, but victims often fight in defense of their abusers.

    1. Sam, thank you for taking the time to read my post and to provide such a clear and well thought-out comment. I do want your thoughts on this topic. I’m currently reading the book Plain Truth by author Jodi Picoult and it dawned on me while reading the court scenes that when the heroine of the book interviews a witness on the stand, I totally agreed with her and then the prosecutor interviews the same witness and I start to question my original beliefs. The commentary changes my perspective. There are always two sides to every story, and never more so than in political views.
      I truly wish that people realized that and instead of flapping their gums they, would listen to the points and arguments the other side is making, that’s why I am glad that you did provide me with your thoughts
      I agree with much of what you said regarding Trump, but my reasons for unfriending this person did not have to do with my feelings about Trump pro or con, it had to do with an attack on people that had differing views from her own. I understand her passion and her frustration, I do not understand why she chose to handle it the way she did by lashing out at others for their personal beliefs. And even if I were to condone her lashing out, the way she handled those that commented on behalf of President Trump by ridiculing them and allowing others to ridicule and belittle them, that was unacceptable.
      As you mention in your comment, Trump himself “ate his own” if they dared to challenge him, that to me, is the same thing this individual did, she “ate her own” because they held an opinion different from hers.
      If the people she attacked were brain washed and victims, then didn’t she further victimize them in her actions? You write that victims often fight in defense of their abusers, trust me I know. I was in a physically abusive relationship and I would defend my abuser, I was brainwashed by someone more cunning than I. How awful if she had come into a group I was in and instead of her rant having to do with politics she had ranted about “stupid women that let men beat them up, they are idiots and if any of you are in abusive relationships and you choose to stay there and believe the idiot, then just get out of my group” I can bet you she would have been personally attacked for that.
      The reason she acted as she did is not the problem to me, her one-sided, angry reaction was the problem. As I said, I will miss her creativity, but for me and my peace of mind, I did the right thing.
      Again, I thank you for your comment and feel free to provide your thoughts anytime, I promise I won’t ban you from commenting.

    2. Attacking the persons is unsettling to me as well, as you described. What an insightful way of describing how she handled contradictory comments-she treated them with (my term) victim shaming. Abusing each other only perpetuates bully mentality. Thank you for reading my comment in the way I had intended, even if I also ranted a bit. Adults talking to adults is a good thing.

    3. Thank you for leaving such a great comment. Discussion is key, not hurling insults at each other.

  2. I salute you, Alicia. You've done the right thing. I would have reacted in the same way.
    I accept differences of opinion, provided they don't turn into insults and attacks.
    I'm very much for freedom of thought and speech but it has to be mutual, not one-sided.
    I feel sad for what the world has become. If you're not with them, it means you're against them, and so turn you into an enemy, into a despicable creature to be avoided.

    1. Dear DUTA, you read my mind! If you're not with me, you're against me, what a concept. What happened to "lets agree to disagree"? I too am very sad, especially for the United States and the way it's been ripped in two. I was though very heartened by President Biden's inaugural address yesterday. If people could just put aside what's happened in the past and unite under this president, maybe our country could begin the healing process, maybe we could get things done. I pray for the USA and the world, as I know you do as well.

  3. no sense keeping negative people in your life.

  4. Great post, Alicia. Spreading hate is not good in any environment. You did the right thing by disengaging yourself from the group. It's a shame that she had to make nasty comments on her own creative group. Such a waste and just bad karma.


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