A long time ago, when I was struggling with my marriage because of an abusive husband, my paternal grandfather, whom we lovingly called Tata, pulled me aside and told me, "Mija, hagase valer. Mejor sola que mal acompanada." Translated it means, "My daughter, value yourself, better to be alone than in bad company." That made such a profound impact on me that I've remembered it to this day and have given that advice many times to various friends and truly believe in it.
Last week I told you all about my wonderful birthday gifts and greetings from my dear friends and family members. I also promised photos from a trip I was taking to Las Vegas. Well I have a few photos, but very few. This is not a happy post but perhaps it will help someone who is in a situation where they are not valuing themselves and they are thinking better to be in bad company than to be alone.
I mentioned a romantic weekend getaway with a new gentleman friend. Well he turned out not to be quite the gentleman I thought he was. Let me say upfront, I'm ok, I'm fine, he didn't hurt me, nothing like that...at least not physically. I am not going to get into detail about word for word the awful things he said and how he made me feel, but I will say that he has a problem. A big problem. A problem that I had seen little, tiny glimpses of that made me suspect something was not right, but nothing I could really put my finger on.
The problem? Alcohol. The first full day we were in Vegas he started drinking beer from the second he woke up until he passed out around midnight. Some people drink and are happy drunks, this man was not one of those. The drunker he got, the meaner he got. Needless to say Saturday was a horrible, miserable day for me. I spent the majority of the time alone and crying and wishing I could go home. I honestly debated with myself whether I should just pack up my stuff and call a cab to take me to the bus station. I stuck it out and we came back home Sunday, one day earlier than he had promised.
Sunday on the drive home he acted like nothing was wrong. He was his old self:, cheerful, funny, talkative. I started to wonder if I had dreamed the whole thing...the ache in my heart told me it wasn't a dream. Once we got to his house where I had left my car I quickly told him that we were done and left.
I'm not sure why this all happened, but I guess it's better that I realized it sooner rather than later right? I'm sad of what "could have been", but happy that I found out in time that this was not the type of man I want in my life. If anyone out there is in a relationship that is bad but staying in it in the hopes that it will get better, or that he/she will change, they won't. Value yourself and realize that it truly is better to be alone than in bad company. My wounds from this weekend will heal and eventually someone who deserves me will come into my life and he will receive someone that values and respects herself and will value and respect him as well.
I debated posting about this because I like to use my blog to post happy things than make others happy. But in the end I felt that maybe it would be best to put it all out there in the hopes that someone that might be going through a bad relationship might be helped by this and by the wisdom of my dear Tata, Manuel, may he rest in peace. I love you Tata.
I did manage to get a few photos on my cell phone the first evening we got there, so I'll share those with you and trust me...I am going to back to Vegas again and I'm going to have so much fun it will make up for the horror of this trip!